After living day by day without answers since mid-August we finally know where we will be living and which store my husband will be working in. We will, in fact, be living in Florida. We are all very excited. The planner in me let out of sigh of relief at finally knowing. I have had to let go completely these last two months and just live day to day trusting God to work out the details.
For well over a year God has been working on me; taking away the layers of things I held onto for security and teaching me that all I really need is in Him. Two job losses in a year has shown me you can't depend on a job for security. I see now how much security I had found in the job my husband held for 11 years. I didn't realize it gave me security until it was gone. An income slashed almost in half has reminded me that security does not come from money. The death of people dear to me has revealed to me security does not come from earthly relationships. And finally not knowing where I would be living for two months has shown me that security is not something I can give myself by planning my life out the way I think it should go. My life is His. My security is in my sweet Lord. He gives me enough for each day and that is all I need.
I won't say this journey's been easy. I've cried. I've prayed. I've searched His word. I've been scared. I've asked why. I have wanted to skip the valley and just go back to sitting on the mountain top. And I still want to know the answers to all the questions I have like now. I'm not the best at waiting on the Lord but through this He is teaching me how to wait and drawing me closer to Him.
These last two months have been particularly challenging and I'm not naive enough to think it's going to get much easier from here on out. There are still a lot of unanswered questions. Will we find an affordable rental? When will our house sell? Can we continue to get by on one income? What about finding new schools and a new church? If I allow myself to sit and dwell on any of those questions the anxiety begins to build and I start wanting to take back control and start worrying myself sick. But last week God answered one question. He's taking us to Florida. And I know that when He's ready more questions will be answered. He's taken care of us up to this point. He has promised to continue to do so.
11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
And for that, I'm grateful.
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